Teenage daughter lies about everything?

Question

I need some advice with my daughter. I was looking at the history of search engine and seen questions about weed. So I started snooping around on her my space and her messenger. I was amazed at what I had found. I don't live under a rock and I know teenagers will experiment. But everything I read is a lie, She says that she is high when she is messenging her friends, but we are sitting next to her in the living room and she is not high. She also lies about having sex (actually brags shes had many partners) Again we know this is not true because the times and places she says it happens she was with us. She lies about everything small and large, Her life she tells her friends does not exist. I was reading today that she has told all of her friends that she does not live with us anymore, and she is living with her grandmother. Which is not true. I know she has self esteem issues and she feels her life is boring. We also live outside of town, so she doesn't get to hang out with her friends much(hense lying about everything shes doing). Her mother and I try to give her everything possible and maybe we have spoiled her to much.(only child) but we need help now before its too late. Sorry to be so long winded. Any advice will help
Thanks Also her age is 15

Answer 1

So do i but what are you gonna do?

Answer 2

I know a couple of people who have done his and they feel like they arent good enough themselves so they need to make up a pretend person which they live 2 make there life more exciting and make there friends like them more. If this has gone on a long time then sadly she might have started 2 believe some of the stuff she is tellin her friends because she says it so much..

sit her down and talk 2 her

dont come out with everything all at once

otherwise she'll run a mile as she will feel so embarrassed

drop hits and let her know that u are always there 2 listen 2 her.

But she does need help.

Answer 3

I feel bad for her, and obviously you have her best interests at heart or you wouldn't be asking. You, as the parent where not 'snooping,' unless she owns the computer she uses, you have every right to monitor her activities. She obviously feels she needs to lie in order to make her life more interesting, she may feel that people will only like her if she leads this interesting life. This may stem from her self-esteem issues. You need to reassure her that people will like her regardless. The lies need to stop as soon as possible because if they don't this pattern is likely to continue into adulthood. Just reassure her that everyone has their self-worth, but don't expect her to know hers. She is still really a kid after all. With regards to the lying, tell her if it doesn't stop, you will be forced to close down her myspace and messenger in order to help her. It won't be easy, but have faith you are a good parent and goodluck. Love and care, Renae x

Answer 4

I'm wondering if she is insecure about herself. And maybe making up something that seems simple about how her day was at school and if she has a boyfriend is something that she really wanted to happen. Of course I don't know your daughter, but do you know what kind of friends she hangs out with? I know peer pressure is a huge thing as a teenager. She's going through a lot right now. It's tough being a young teen today. She's trying to find out who she is and what she wants to do and be. But she needs to know that their are consequences to lying. And that it will definitely not be tolerated by you, her mother. Hope that helps. I've just become a mother myself, so I haven't reached that point! lol!

Answer 5

:(

I'm really sorry to hear this.



She sounds like she might be having an identity crisis.

Being a teenager you feel like you have to prove yourself to other people, and whether that means bragging about having sex or smoking weed, kids will do anything to fit in.

Trust me, I am one.



Maybe strike up a conversation with her,

Don't make it obvious you've "snooped" around,

But just ask her if everything is ok.

Try and have a deep conversation about your feelings in general and she might come around.

But for now, she might just have to make her own mistakes.



She'll realise it's stupid to lie in order to fit in, one way or another.

Just try and approach her as a friend, rather then an authority figure.



She'll be most likely to realise that way.



Hope this helps.

Answer 6

im 14, i know what shes going thru, i mean its not great shes lying to her friends, but it is good you know she isnt doing those things. she is prolly really confused and needs a friend. i would sit and talk with her, dont tell her you snooped, just make it obvious you love her, support her, and will be there for her when she needs you. eventually she will come to you for advice. and thats a pretty big deal.

Answer 7

my age is 13 and i would never lie about what she was lying about to you and the clue statement in there was 'she feels her life is boring' well find things that you two can do together maybe movies or shopping anything she likes



good luck

Answer 8

shes trying to fit in, but she needs to know that her getting attention for being a "whore and druggy" is the WRONG attention. flat out tell her, i read your sh*t, stop lying, the other kids could be lying too, those are NOT the people you want to be friends with.





edit: after reading the other answers about not telling her you read her stuff...ummmm youre her father, shes 15, you have every right to read her stuff. her getting embarrassed knowing that her father read all that stuff and knows she lying and getting called out on it will nip it in the bud WAY faster than some buddy-buddy heart to heart.

Answer 9

You can't help a child who wants to be something you think they are not, maybe she really deep down inside wants to do all those things and your holding her back. I have a sibling the same way.. they would steal my crap to give it to their friends too I would be BEYOND pissed at that. But I can't stop them from wanting to impress their friends over their family. Hopefully someone will stomp them down like a cockroach and they will suddenly realize the importance of family.. to bad I'm not going to be there to pick them up... I have my own life to worry about, no time for others.. Love my lil brother but he has to be resposible for him.. I held him in my arms when he was a baby and wanted him to grow up to be a respectable person..like me, but he's the exact opposite. He chased 2 foster kids out of our house by being assholes to them. They didn't deserve it at all.. it's sad and makes me wanna go back to those foster kids and apologize to them, but I'm not, and its not my fault. He made them seem crazy as hell and one had a temper and was so depressed... He made him look like a bad person around my mom... sure he had flaws which i thought were weird/yucky... but seriously no one deserves to be turned into a villian. I hate teenagers(~_~...

Answer 10

Your child is just trying to be like her friends, teens always talk about sex and drugs. But talk to her about how its ok not to have sex and do drugs, after all she is too young for both anyway

Answer 11

Teenager dont lie the things they say is true.

At teenage s/he can get involved into sex with many partners