My 16 year old and my 13 year old refuse to help me with the housework, Im a single mom and its so hard to do?

Question

it on my own. They want everything and get angry when i say no. Im at my wits end. I want a good relationship with them but fed up. Please help.

Answer 1

I am a 27 year old man so I won't claim to know how to be a mother. But I do feel that as the only parent you need to set boundaries. I have known single mothers in your situation, and I recommend that you do what's best for them, not for you. That means instilling some discipline and being a parent. If you try to be their friend, they will always expect you to look out for them, and they will not learn how to take care of themselves. I'm sure that it is hard, but it is clearly the right thing to do.



If you want to feel better, you can give in and be their friend. If you want your children to grow into mature adults, my feeling is that you must find a way to show that you are the authority figure in their lives.



Can you withold anything from them? Can you stop giving them money unless they do chores (like an allowance) or tell them they need to cook their own dinner?

Answer 2

Sorry I don't have an answer. I am a single Dad and my 23 yr old daughter, 16 yr old daughter and ( mostly) my 14 yr old son don't help either.

I've looked at the answers so far and they know nothing.

I've tried doing no washing up and yet they wash only what they need and make some remark like 'if you can't cope just say so' but they still don't do anything.

I tried not washing the clothes of the eldest but I got embarassed by her smell!

I just gave up and do as little as possible but still do far more than they do.

One thing that has worked is that I ONLY iron the School clothes. If they want anything else ironed they do it!

Answer 3

Oh it really isn't any longer something new. it really is been a similar always. childrens used to get married at 16 in any case. the in trouble-free words distinction now's that individuals have a tendency to attend till they commence their kin's now so it style of feels like this huge wonder or something. the way you preclude is with education and being in touch along with your children. extremely basically and it surely isn't something new. do not get stuck up contained in the it really is getting worse crap. it truly is a similar, it really is basically that your extra attentive to it. Dig out previous behavioral and teenage being pregnant comments, do not look on the genuinely numbers look on the projected numbers. remember about all those again best chum abortions both. All those issues that were saved contained in the closet are out contained in the open now. each and every technology says a similar about the subsequent one. If the sky became rather falling, it would want to have crashed down on us already.

Answer 4

I hate to be blunt but if your children don't want to help around the house you have to hit them where it hurts. If they don't do the work then tell them to either help or get a place of their own. Children these days lack so much discipline that the future worries me.

Think about it, if they want something from you tell them they can get it if they help around the house. You can't get something and expect not to give anything back. You're the parent...It's time you put your foot down or put it in their.....I think you can figure out what I mean here.

Answer 5

DON'T GIVE THEM EVERYTHING THEY ASK FOR! The best thing to remember is that it's OK for them to be mad at you because you refused to give in to what they want. You're their mother, they don't need to like you! A good relationship with them doesn't mean you always have to make them happy.



Tell them that unless they help out, they will not be getting anything that is other than a necessity (like money for school etc etc).

Answer 6

Having a good relationship with them is understandable,but it DOES work both ways.At their ages,they should be able and willing to do certain chores for you and with you.I would discuss with them about children their ages who have disabilities and yet still do chores.My son is autistic and yet he helps me in whatever way he can,be it simply taking out the trash or helping to wash up after dinner.

They are lucky to have a good caring mom and they should be damn pleased to help you to show that they both respect you and understand how blessed they truely are.

Answer 7

They are old enough to clean up after themselves, so tell them to help out or do it themselves. My mom quit doing things like laundry, cooking, cleaning, dishes for me when I was 15. Even though I hated it, it was good for me because no one does it for me now. I would be lost not knowing how.

Answer 8

hey single mom..I'm only 14 but my mom has ALWAYS made me do house work..just try making chore board or something and if they dint do it warn them and THEN ground them for like a week...don't try being there friend try being there mom i know your are but you have to have a strong approach ~Jade~

Answer 9

tell them help me and you MIGHT get those things

Answer 10

NO FUN TILL THE WORK IS DONE.