I want to keep my baby but mum wants to abort.. HELP!!?

Question

Im pretty sure im pregnant (havin blood test today so will know for sure) and i think my mum is catching on that i might be 2 and she threatend me yesterday that if i am we'll be down at the abortion clinic straight away no doubt about it and if i refuse she'll make sure i loose it.
Iv been pregnant before and she was all cool with it but i miscarried a wk later. I want to keep my baby as it hurt soooo much loosing the first one but i dont want to fight with my mum either.
She doesnt like my boyfriend and i think thats why she wants me to get rid of it. What do i do?? I dont want to disappoint my mum but i dont want to loose my baby either.
Please help! =(
(even thinking about not telling her until its too late to get abortion but i hate to lie to her and feel im gonna need her more than ever for support at this time)

Answer 1

You need to take time to think about a few things, like how to get the money to raise the baby, the patience it takes, and whether or not you're going to have regrets about missing out certain things in your life. Having a baby means you have to grow up really fast, you'll hardly have a social life anymore. I'm not saying that you should get an abortion, just know what you're getting yourself into, think about it from all angles. Make sure that youre boyfriend is going to help provide and play a key roll in this childs life. And if youre still in highschool, you have education to think about and your career, afterall thats the only way you can provide for your family. But really all in all keeping the baby is up to you, not your mother. Just be ready hun and do a lot of thinking. Maybe after you've explained that you know what youre in store for to your mom and give her your game plan for the future she'll be more accepting, possibly even excited, It'll show her that youre mature enough to handle this.

Answer 2

I don't know what part of the world u live n but u can abort rather late in most places so don't count your mom out on that part. All she can do is try. Although i CAN NOT imagine anyone EVER having an abortion. I imagine u will need your mom especially if u cant work yourself. I say grow up as much as u can if u really want 2 keep your baby. C about getting married maybe.Goodluck on what ever happens, sorry for your other loss. Pray ,God has an answer 4 u. Well i see u put in there now u r 18 and living away from home and have a good job then WHY r u asking the ???? the way u r? U r a big girl right, at least at that age i would hope so. So then your "mum" will come around later. I am sure this will have a lot to do with her life as well. U R obviously gona need some help raising "yalls" baby.

Answer 3

hello there, wow! i was exactly on your shoe before. Almost the same except the age. I was 21 when i was pregnant then got miscarriage then 22 when i got pregnant again. My mother couldn't live with that esp. because she doesn't like my bf. But i didn't care and continued the baby though it really jeopardized the relationship i had with mom. I broke up with my bf now and my son is turning 3 years old - he's with his daddy. If i had to decide again, i still wanna keep the baby. Know why? coz it's the best part of you that will urge you to fight for life...you'll have better inspiratons now because there's someone who's looking up and depending on you..the question is are you ready for the big responsibility? I was ready then to be a mom so i kept my baby - even if my salary as an entry level engineer was too low. When i saw my son the first time - i fell in love with him and he's my lucky charm. Blessings come my way...and i got offers abroad..though I have to leave my son at least i wasn't selfish because I am working for him though far. I kept my communication and it really helps me a lot when he says Mommy I love you...the most amazing feeling!!! More than what your mom can give. I mean, it's your life...things will get better just be optimistic...if you abort the baby it will hunt you forever. If you keep your baby (though ur not sure yet for the feelings for the baby's dad)...people will admire you for being strong. If you abort the baby, you'll be relieved with all the burden but a part of you will be gone forever that would have been your driving force to move on with life... I suggest keep the baby, people will talk about you sure is....but all gossips will go away...give your baby a chance to live...your mom will learn to accept it especially when you deliver the baby.. funny thing was mom just couldn't stop stare at my son when she first met him...

Answer 4

You do not wish to loose the baby and your mom if you are against her opinion on your pregnancy. Your short history is full of conflicts with your mom and have been acting against her advise even against your bf. Have you ever trusted her, her opinion and why she has been against? It seems, if I read between the lines, your mom at present is a single parent. You have enjoyed sex with your boy friend who made you so to say pregnant twice and you did not stop and did not come to any senses or did not show any sense of responsibility either in your personal matters or in the family matters. You would brutally kill her vanishing faith in you if you tell her much later, when you cannot undergo abortion. Miscarriage occurs due to psychologic upsetting, worries, etc. You have already been a financial burden on your mom who finds extremely difficult to meed and then to have a bay to look after both of you would stop earning, all three would go hungry. Would that be a fair justice to the baby and the family?



You have carried out the blood test today and would learn whether you are pregnant or not, but you chose to post this question before you are sure of pregnancy. Fine. Good thing that demonstrates you too are losing faith in you and have only faith in your bf, but for what? Have a nice sex sessions later if that is the only aspect of your happy free living.

Answer 5

If you want the baby then its your choice its your body, be open and honest with your mum you will need her on your side. You need to think if you are really ready for a baby tho, how are you going to support the child (feed, cloth etc:) where are you and baby going to live if your mum dosent warm to the idea, is the father of the baby going to be there for you and the baby financially as well as emotionally. You dont have to have an abortion you could always speak to someone about adoption if you think you are not ready for this commitment at the moment.

Answer 6

Okay, Im 17, and i have a daughter who is 13 months. My child is my everything. Your almost 18? I love how everybody says teens arent ready for a baby. My daughter is the healthiest happiest baby. Anyways, Your mother cannot make you get an abortion, tell your mom it is your child, and your body. Yea she will be pissed at first, but then she will get over it, and she will be more than supportive. Trust me.



My mom (i got prego when i was 15) (planned baby) Well she was in denial for maybe 3 weeks, but then she got over it, and now she loves he nanababy! Lol



But No, i dont think your to young, you just need to make sure you have money to support yourself, and your child, I mean you dont wanna be living with your mom, and basically having her raise your baby her way.



I moved out when i was 3months.



But if you need somebody to talk to about htis, then im here.



[e-mail]





Lily

Answer 7

She can't force you to do it. Even if she takes you to the clinic, all you have to do is put up a fight. Tell the doctors YOU don't want it, and they can't do it. Therefore, no problem, well, other than the fact that you're pregnant. No abortion problem though. How would she force you lose it? By hitting you in the stomach? If you really think she would risk your unborn baby's life, then you have to leave. Go to a women's shelter and explain, or to your boyfriend's since ya'll seem to still be together. This is what crisis pregnancy centers are for though. To help girls like you get to keep their baby, at least to term (whether or not you decide adoption is up to you still), so go to the nearest one and ask to speak to their counselors. Good luck, honey.

Answer 8

it sounds like you are prepared as far as a job and your own place, but are you ready to jeopardize your chances of maintaining your stable lifestyle? do you live with your boyfriend and/or does he/will he contribute when the baby comes? there are many more factors besides financial stability and really wanting to have a baby. the prior may not be nearly enough once you have it, and the latter is definitely not a good reason by itself to go through with this. i think your mother's standpoint is that she sees down the road how SHE will have to support you two, and this is a red flag for her because it really does take 2 parents to support a baby's needs. are you marrying the father? were you on birth control? were you trying to get pregnant? think long and hard about this. it will not be good if you don't have your mom's support. good luck!

Answer 9

First of all if you live in the US then your mother can't legally male you abort your baby. YOU are the only one that has control over your reproductive system. How old are you? I would suggest waiting to say anything until after you are sure. Were it me I would keep it to myself until after it is too late to abort, which I believe is in the second trimester. If you are old enough to be on your own then I suggest talking to your mother and telling her how you feel and that you are going to keep your child and that she needs to respect you, your baby, and your baby's father or you will not let her see the child. This might make it where you and your bf have to live together w/o your parent's help. You have to decide what you want more. Good luck!

Answer 10

First, find out if you are pregnant or not. You may not be and all this worrying could be for nothing. Second, your mother can not force you to have an abortion. If she threatens to harm you so that you will loose the child you need to tell another trusted adult so that they can help you. If you are not pregnant please think about some contraceptive in the future if this is your second pregnancy, then none of this would happen.

Answer 11

To Audriana: She is almost 18 yrs old and second of all, you expect her to kill her baby for her moms happiness even though it will effect HER not her MOTHER for the rest ofher life? "Do what makes mom happy" well if she wanted to be a doctor but her mother wanted her to be a teacher she should not be a doctor so it will make her mom happy? Basicly what you are saying.



If you do not want an abortion do not get one, it is your body! Not your mothers and if she wants to kill her grandchild then she will have to be the one to answer to that one day. Keep your baby and stay clear of your mother. By law you have the right to do whatever you want with your body.

Answer 12

Don't abort him/her! Don't! Snuffing out an innocent life because your mom doesn't like your boyfriend is wrong. How will you live with yourself afterwards? It will be hard if you keep the baby, but I'm sure if you have him/her, it'll be worth it. If you absolutely cannot keept his baby, at least have him/her and bring the baby to an adoption center. If you can't care for him/her, feel good that maybe someone out there could. I haven't had a baby, but trust me, children are precious, don't kill them! Please talk to your mom. Your mom will be there for a while, you can even heal the rift between you two if it comes to a fight. But the baby will be gone forever...God bless

Answer 13

Don't get an abortion! It's your body and if you want to carry your child you should do that. Don't let your mom force you to do something terrible. If you don't feel ready to be a mother you can put the baby up for adoption. There are hundreds of wonderful people that would love and cherish a baby, and take good care of him or her. That would be a wonderful and selfless thing for you to do to give your baby a happy life.

Answer 14

I wouldn't have an abortion. A lot of women regret having abortions. You do have your whole life ahead of you, but even though I believe in pro-choice for abortion, you should only have one if you are sure it's what YOU want. Not anyone else. Consider giving the baby up for adoption. That's kind of like a compromise right? Just remember, don't have an abortion just because your mom wants you to have one.

Answer 15

If you want to keep it you keep it!

This is your baby and your life

Your mom has no right to ask you to abort and she could be arrested for threats against your child

If she was a half decent mother she would support you all the way!



Audriana- Shut the hell up. WHat do you mean do this for you mom?! Do what?! Loose her child because the person who is supposed to care is being a b**tch. Yeah right

Answer 16

The first post was really stupid. Have the baby, your mom can't make you get an abortion just because SHE doesn't like your boyfriend. Abortion in my opinion is wrong. You are almost an adult, tell your mom you are capable of making your own decisions and you ARE keeping the baby and you hope she will support you. You seem like you will love your child so much, please don't let her kill it!

Answer 17

I would finish school first, thats really important. I feel terrible about your loss. I would not get an abortion, but do open adoption. You may think your ready, and I'm not saying your not, but get a good education fist so you can very well support your child.

Answer 18

She can not make you have an abortion, but mothers usually know best. I went through a similar situation when I was 17. My mom wanted me to abort because she thought my boyfriend was a loser but I didn't and she was right. He has never helped me take care of our son. I am 26 now and still he does nothing. I had to drop out of school and what not, but eventually my mom came around and her and my son are super close.

Answer 19

Ultimately it is your decision, but your mom just wants you to have the best life possible. Babies can make life rough for a teen. They can make any one at any age lives rough, but if you at least are still in high school, that should be your first priority.

Answer 20

don't murder the poor baby it's not the baby's fault. your mom cannot control that decision. if she wants to have someone murdered why don't she jump off a bridge. there's no reason to hide it from her. just come out with it and tell her she can't do a damn thing about it and you are keeping that child. stay strong. she cannot run you.



don't worry if she threatens to kick you out, what's more important; the baby or your mom's opinion? if you get rid of it you will regret it for the rest of your life. if you have it you'll love and cherish it and thank god that you didnt listen to your mom.

much love and goodluck

Answer 21

Its your choice to have an abortion or not, don't let your mother make that very important choice for you.... but i would say keep it! what if you were that baby and didn't even get a chance at life?

Answer 22

Hun it's your body. Sit down ad have a chat with your mother and tell her you want this baby if you're pregnant. She really can't make you have an abortion

Answer 23

Why have you been pregnant twice already. You should have learned the first time that you needed to either not have sex at your young an immature age or use protection to ensure that this did not happen again. You obviously live with your parents and they feel like the child will be their burden. Seeing that this is the second time you are pregnant I can see your mother's dilema. Her daughter is not mature enough or responsible enough to care for a child and she does not want to have to raise this child. Sorry to be so blunt, but after your first unplanned pregnancy you should have taken the precautions to not let this happen again.

Answer 24

You Should Do What Is Better For You In This SituationYou Really Have To think About It....... WIsh You The Best

Answer 25

if you do abort your fucken stupid if you do. have your baby its your life not hers .trust i have a 2 month old baby and im 17 going to be 18 in august and i never thought of abortion like you. anyways your not going to be with your parents forever. your going to have to be on your own one day. and you wouldnt wnat to be by yourself so have your baby there cute and gorgeous there a gift from god. DON'TTTT ABORTED PEOPLE WHO TELL YOU TO ABORT ARE FUCKEN STUPID!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 26

look im 17 and just found out im 5 weeks preg. my parents wanted to to terminate bcoz they dont like my boyfriend and im too young. i was going to terminate and then i thought aout it and this is my baby and im going to keep it.. so now im looking at moving out. ur mum will soon support you trust me.

good luck hun xoxox

Answer 27

if your living out of home, making good money, almost 18, and stable tell her that she can't control what happens.

talk to your doctor about things.

Answer 28

Tell your mom you love this baby already and need to protect your baby just as she has protected you! She just may understand!

Answer 29

Just remember that this baby is not only going to completely change your life, but it's going to change hers as well.

Answer 30

Awww. Tell her you really want a baby and it would teach you responsibility. Tell her that it is cruel to abort. Tell her you need the baby.



Goodluck/

Answer 31

DNT DO WHAT EVERYBODY ELSE WANTS YOU TO DO!

ITS YOUR BABY INSIDE YOUR BODY!

ITS YOUR COICE!

NOT YOUR MOTHERS!

IF SHES THREATNING YOU AND YOU FEEL YOUR IN DANGER YOU SHOULD CALL THE COPS!

I KNOW SHES YOUR MOM AND EVERYTHING BUT YOU HAVE TO THINK ABOUT YOURSELF ON THIS ONE!





SHE CANT FORSE YOU TO HAVE AN ABORTION!

THEY HAVE TO HAVE YOUR CONSENT TOO!

IT DOESNT MATTER HOW OLD YOU ARE EITHER!





GOOD LUCK ON WHATEVER U DECIDE!

Answer 32

well if you live on your own. honestly what can your mom do.



good luck



and im sorry you have to go through this.

congrats on being pregnant though. try not to stress.

Answer 33

It's you choice,not hers. Human life is always a good cause,and is worth way more than a fight. =) Stick to what you believe is good,don't give up.

Good luck!

Answer 34

You got pregnant twice? You'd think you would have learned your lesson the first time. Seriously, get it aborted, then start going on the pill. You're obviously not responsible enough to take care of a child, let alone yourself. Having and caring for a baby is a lot more work than you realize.

Answer 35

Tell your mom how would she fill if she had been aborted. Besides no one has right on your baby's life.

Answer 36

tell the police cause no one can make you get an abortion

Answer 37

Its your body, and your baby... tell her its not her decision. Simple as that. You dont want to make that harsh of a decision just because you want to please your mother, because then you are going to regret it later. You decide. Period.

Answer 38

well i would tell my mom that its not the bays fault dat im perganet!! and dat i shouldnt kill it for u(urmom). and that i want to have it and i will be very responsible!!

Answer 39

leagally it is ur desion she can't make it for you .no matter how old u r u have the right to reproduce

Answer 40

It's your baby, not hers.



You will be a great mother! :)

Answer 41

Well, how old are you? If you are in your teens I'm sorry but I have to agree with your mum. Or at least if you are living with her (your mum).

Answer 42

wo

Answer 43

dont have a baby

there will be other chances with a possible husband

that you REALLY LOVE



wait and do this for your mom