17 & Pregnant what do I do?

Question

I need to know the fors and against for my pregnancy, I need to have as much information to help me make an informed decision.
1. Im about 5 wks gone
2. Not sure who the father is, 1 of 3 possibles
3. Do I tell all the possibles about the others?
4. Working & plenty of support
5. 2 of the 3 would be fully supportive
6. Live with one of the possibles and he thinks its his, doesnt know about others (we had split up, just living together.)
7. Got plans for my life, can you still do stuff, career etc?
8. Parents only discussing termination.

Please dont be judgemental of my situation, it wasnt planned. But I want as much info to help me with the decisions I have to make.

Answer 1

You have probably got the biggest decision to make in your 17 years,and right now you probably dont know which way to turn.

The choice you make has to be your own and it needs to based on the maximum amount of information you can absorb to make it a well informed choice.

Go check out your local pregnancy crisis information centre if in the UK this can be found in the front section of the Yellow pages. They are independent, not tied to the National Health, or any pro or anti termination society, they are there to listen to you and help you explore your options including Adoption.

They will be able to offer to current information to proceedures and health care, as well as looking at any financial concerns you may have relating to your pregnancy. They will advise you on how to progress in what ever direction you need.

You will need to get your pregnancy dated, what I mean by that is you will need to know how far along you are, this will have an effect with regard to how long the timescale is for you to have a choice of termination if you do indeed decide to take that route, so I would suggest finding out through your GP or health care proffessional about getting a scan, if you can remember the date of your last period this would give you a rough estimate of how far the pregnancy has progressed.

I can imagine it all seems like too much to comprehend right now but you need to be looking after yourself, what ever your choice right now you need to eat and be sensible, the last thing you need is for you to make yourself ill with the worry.

Hopefully you have support from friends if not family who can be there for you in those twilight hours when your mind runs away with itself with all of the info you are trying to take in.

Im not going to lecture you about the responsibilites of contraception, but I do think you need to consider the 3 possibles, you may be thinking of letting the ex be the only one who knows, but I need to mention something, if you do decide to go ahead with the pregnacy you will be asked questions about medical history of the father. To be sure you and the baby would get the best medical care and provision it would be beneficial to know what the historys are of the possibles. Ok I know, it means being honest, admiting whats happened. Youve come this far, asked all of us for our help, that cant have been easy. Start as you mean to go on. After all you will be able to get a DNA test after the baby is born. (I dont know if its possible during the pregnancy, sorry)

If your are working/employed and you inform your employer you will have protected rights, and can not be dismissed for being pregnant. You will be allowed time to attend all medical appointments.

Re the plans for your life, I was a single parent, ok so not so young. But the issues and questions I faced were the same. My circumstances were not exactly the same, I had little or no support and the father walked when the test went positive, you mention 2 of the 3 would be supportive, thats a positive. With or with out the fathers support it is possible to do this if you want. As you can see from some of the answers, you can still continue education, work and be a mum.If that is what you decide.

The Crisis Support worker will have all the relevent info on just how you can manage. Contact them and discuss it through.

Re. your parents. I believe at the end of the day, we all want whats best for our kids, and ok so right now they are a little shocked. Explain how you feel. They may feel you are too young,

Get all the information and sit down and talk to them, explain what youve learnt, whats going on in your head and your heart. Im sure they will support you in what ever path you take.

Make an informed decision, one you know thats going to work for you. Make it your decison and no one elses, it is a huge acceptance of responsibilty on your part. No one came make it for you. So I wish you well in what ever path you choose.

Good luck.

Answer 2

If you have plans for your life, dreams to achieve, etc. Unless you are so wealthy that you can easily hire a nanny to care for your child, you will find yourself dreaming of what could have been while you are raising a child. It's the hardest thing you will ever do, it is so much sacrifice. And at your young age, well, personally, I'd go with termination (and have). You must admit that having more than one possiblity of a father shows lack of responsibility, lack of restraint, etc. However, now that you are looking for information to make a good decision, this shows great responsibility. You'll get many different answers in here because we all are going off of our own experiences. Ultimately, it's clearly your decision. Since there is still an option available to you, consider what you WANT. Having a child at all, much less at such a young age, will forever change your future. We all have regrets about something, but I do not regret the decision I made at your age. I was in no position emotionally to raise a child. Parenting is something that you should put most of your energy into. Having a career and children, despite what people say, one or the other will suffer to some degree. You cannot give of yourself 100% to both. There is no shame in choosing you and your happiness. An unhappy parent raises unhappy children. Best of luck to you.

Answer 3

first of all...

Your not the first and you deffinately wont be the last to get into this situation.



My friend got into the same predicament when she was 17.

Se kept the baby and has ut college on hold for a while until he (the baby) is older. It's not easy looking after a child at ANY age, a 30r old could end up being a worse parent than a 16yr old (believe me I know people where that is deffinately the case!)



If you decide to keep the baby then your going to need support, so I'd suggest talking to your parents sooner rather than later.



You can have a test while you are pregnant to find out who is the father but i'm not sure how available they are. I'd check with your G.P fpr details.



Whoever the father is I'd advise you to talkit through with him, although whatever you choose is ultimately YOUR decision and not his.



Your parents are probably very shocked and still think of you as their lttle girl. You need to show them you are mature now and you are taking this very seriously.



Whatever you decide you have to make sure it's best for YOU and not what's conveinient for anyone else.



To all the people who can only criticise - I hope your proud that you've never made a mistake in your life and are so damn perfect! It must be wonderful to be so smug!



Chin-up girl! you've got NOTHING to be ashamed of and anyone who tells you otherwise is just looking or someone to make themselves feel better; and you've probably heared this a million times already but please think about the pill/condoms for the future ok?

Answer 4

Hi sweetheart, I'm 20, my mum had me at 17. It sounds to me like u wanna keep your baby otherwise you would go along with your parents advice of termination? At least thats what I gathered.



It is fully possible to have a career, my mother had me and then my sister a yr later and she still worked and supported both of us without financial support or any imput whatsoever from the father (my father) Do not get a termination if you would regret it, for instance I know I wouldnt be able to live with myself having a termination but it IS a PERSONAL decision and you have to do what is right for YOU. So firstly you must get your head out of thinking about what other ppl think of u and what other people want, at the end of the day the person dealing with the baby is YOU. And remember the child will not stay a baby forever, they will grow up they will need things and they will need your unconditional love and support. Do not worry too much all things work out for the greater good.



As for the father situation, you were very careless, you realize that now. Only a blood test can determine who the real father is. The child has a right to know who its father is so you will have to get that sorted when it is born. You do not have to tell the other men who you 'think' may be involved you can take them one by one to do the blood test and at the end of it you only have to deal with the one who turns out to be the actual father. The one you are living with currently will have a right to know if the baby is his. If it is not then be prepared for him not wanting a relationship with you any further. I'm not saying he wont but you must prepare yourself for the WORST thats what I sometimes do in a situation so that whatever the outcome it isnt half as bad or always remember it could be worse.....



You can achieve all your goals etc you will just have to work harder because now you will have a child dependent on you.



If you decide to go for the termination prepare yourself mentally for that also. Some ppl wish they never had it or remember what day the baby should have been born on and drive themselves crazy. Would adoption be better? Think through every option and decide which one you can bare to live with.



If you keep the baby a baby can be very rewarding but it will be a long road ahead and although drastic prepare yourself to walk that road alone. Read up books get as much support as possible.



Feel free to email me I'll be glad to talk if you need it.



In the meantime hope this helped, God bless you and I wish you all the best from the future.



And next time, use protection.....

Answer 5

Take all 3 guys to Maury Povich, he will do the paternity test. I think u should tell all 3 possibilities of father as they all have a right to know. But until the baby is born, there is no way to find out prior to that who the father will be. Best of luck to you and i hope one of the guys that would be supoprtive is the father. u don't need to deal with a dead beat dad at a young age. You can still have a career and all that, it just may take a little longer. Don't let anyone talk you into terminating the pregnancy...YOU ARE THE ONE LAYING ON THAT TABLE, THAT IS YOUR BODY AND DON;T MAKE A DECISION U WILL REGRET. also there is no inbetween when u have kids..u either want them or u don't. Don't make one of them believe they are the father, it could really blow up in your face in the end. To tell one lie requires another lie to cover that one up and pretty soon u dont know what is the truth and what is a lie. Best bet just tell all of them and sort it out from there

Answer 6

It's one thing being supportive, but can they financially afford to keep a baby, they are very expensive, I have had a girlfriend for a while now and once the condom split and she became pregnant, we both knew that an abortion was the only way for us, we both want to go to university and party a lot with our friends in the best years of our lives, so it was easy for us to make that decision. She does want children when she gets financially stable and after university with a good job etc... I personally think, that at 17 (which is how old I am) I would not advise to have a baby unless you are absolutely sure you can cope, for instance, when all your friends are going out and you can't, I know that we couldn't have coped at this point in our lives, you also have to know that you can give your baby the best life possible. Anyway good luck with your situation and stuff, I'm sure you will do what is right for you. Alex x

Answer 7

first of all wot do u want? iv got 2 kids an iv had 1 abortion.i first got pregnant at 17 i woz scared but i new straight away i woz going to hav the baby.i got pregnant again at 20 and new straight away i couldnt hav it.i had my second child 15months ago and from the first day i new he woz stayin.my point is even if its 4 the best u cant get rid of it if u want it,u will always feel guilty.. secondly u need to work out EXACTLY who u wer with an wen, u need to narrow the possibilities down of who the dad mite b and only tel the likely 2,realy u shouldnt hav told any of them until u new wot u wer doing. thirdly all men say they will b ther all the way wen the baby isnt out yet but things change u dont hav to believe me just look around u. fourthly the plans uv got,could a baby fit into them or will your plans go on hold forever.obviously SOME people who get pregnant young manage to hav a career but its not easy,between the baby and your job u will not hav no time 4 a life... can i just say as much as i love my 2 kids i wish i had been a lot older before havin my first,uv got so much life ahead of u go an live it hun and then tie yourself down with brats lol.. an by the way sleepin with 3 different fellas isnt gud apart from the situation ur in now think about ur health.. i hope ur ok woteva u decide x

Answer 8

Ok so your not in a very good situation but I wont judge as I have had an abortion at 14 but that was due to the age. Basically you should think about your situation from your child's point of view whats your situation? What are your plans as well for the future and would the baby ruin or postpone them? Is it fair to lie about the father you need to find out the real father even if it will cause alot of hurt but that depends on whether or not your planning on keeping it. If you want it and you have plenty of support good luck and it wont be easy but it will be worth it if you know it will be loved and in a safe and stable environment to grow up in! Good luck ask if you want more help

Answer 9

I got pregnant when I was 17 also. Now I am 18 and I am 4 days away from my due date. Yes, it is hard having a baby at such a young age, but if you were mature enough to have sex, your mature enough to carry the baby through the whole pregnancy. You can do it. There have been younger girls than us who have done it. And dont worry about people judging you. Its really none of there business. I have a full time job, and I recently got married. I had 2 guys that were possibly the dad, the guy i married, or another. The other said he didnt want a baby right now because he was going to college... which i can understand, so the guy that i married is going to claim the baby as his. We arent getting a paternity test. He has been through the whole pregancy with me, supports me, and takes care of me. In my opinion, thats all you need in a dad.... so good luck! And you can message me if you want!

Answer 10

The first decision you need to make is: do you want to be a mother? That's the first and foremost question to ask yourself. Do you feel the desire to take care of another person, to let some of your plans and desires to take the back seat, and to work very hard? If you decide that you do not want to or feel you're not able to be a mother at this time, then the decision to abort or adopt is the next decision to make. I will not impede my opinions on those two options, as I feel that is a personal decision. If you decide "Yes, I want to be a mother, and yes I will be happy letting some of my own plans/dreams go for the welfare of my child", then your next problem is dealing with the paternity issue. As uncomfortable as it may be, you will have to be honest with the potential fathers. You must not carry on with any deceit re: the paternity. If the 3rd potential (the unsupportive one) is the father, then plan on either taking him to court for child support (which I HIGHLY recommend), or plan on caring for your child alone. This is not an easy choice, as my single-mom sister can tell you. You did mention that you will have some support from others, so this is a good thing. I was 17 also when I got pregnant (Sep of my senior year in high school), I decided to marry the guy and we were married for 17 years. However, this is not necessarily how your life is going to turn out, it's just my experience. I had foster parents who were very pushy about getting an abortion, but I fought them on that. I don't believe in it, and couldn't participate in that. But, that's me. I know you're afraid, and I do hope for the best for you. I've been there, and I feel I made the right decisions for ME. Good luck!

Answer 11

I had a baby 16 months ago and it is the best thing that has ever happened to me. i cant imagine my life without my son.



One of the points that you made was can you still do everything that you wanted to do. Well the answer is YES U CAN. I am studying at college and I work part time, my son goes to a wonderful nursery he’s happy. Don't get me wrong their are times that I wish I would have waited but those time are very far and far between and I love my son to pieces I guess I wouldn’t have it any other way. Except his father lol



Having a termination is not easy go to this website

http://www.mttu.com/abort-pics/

Somebody from answers just posted this site and it’s made me think that abortion is never an option in a situation like yours/ours because I was in a similar situation age wise.

I have a cousin who at 18 had an abortion and since that day she has regretted it ever since. Her life is a mess, she’s on drugs, sleeps around and now she thinks she’s a lesbian. She rings me totally out of the blue crying on the phone about the choice she made and how stupid, immature and other things she was. She is devastated and I can't do anything to help her. Now she see's me with me with my baby and i sometimes notice the way she looks at him she talks about how old her child would be now etc.

Please think long and hard before you ever come to the conclusion that an abortion is the answer.

your life can be full and exciting , only difference it that you have lil one who’s riding with you.

Answer 12

OK.... here's what you have to do hun. You have to figure out what YOU'RE comfortable doing. Don't listen to people on an internet site (except for me, heh). Having a baby is HARD WORK...and LOTS of money. You CAN still do careers, but it is HARD. You have to DETERMINED. You have to be willing to stay up all night with a baby and get up in the morning to college or university, and then come home and work to support your baby, and find day care. Some colleges offer daycare, so you should look into. Or ask your parents, boyfriend, or boyfriend's parents (when you find out which one it was) for daycare help if they are willing. This will cut down on money expences for daycare.



Abortion is a very emotional thing, and confusing. Some people think its wrong, but you know what...if you don't think it's possible to give the baby the best possible life it can have, then is it really worth it? Abortion might be an option if this is the case.



So. Really. Just think of what you're comfortable with. You could go to a counsellor who will help you look over options



Another one is adoption. If you can't give your baby the life it needs, maybe someone else can!

Answer 13

hi i was 17 when i fell pregnant with my first child, I was scared and not sure what to do like you, the only thing i knew for sure was i would keep my baby no matter what, i know this may sound really bad to some people but if your boyfriend thinks he is the father and he is happy and going to support you and you love him and can see you still being together in 20 years time don't tell him no different, i know this sounds bad but if the baby will be given a loving stable home life would it be so bad? better that then having someone who wouldn't care a thing about the baby and treat it terrible, Its your choice but i think you can keep the baby and still do what ever you want in life, it just means you have to be more organised in the future arranging child care etc, it is not the end of your life but the beginning of a new life, yes i found it hard to cope at first but i did it, and i had lots of support which you say you have too, go for it dont think you cant just say you can and you will be fine, good luck in the future x

Answer 14

Tell all three of the fathers, and explain it to the guy you live with. If he really wants to be the father then let him if the other guys do not. Also who do you want to be the father? There is no decision for you to make, it is all in the paternity tests. Also you can go to school and get a great career. It will just take a little longer. There are online schools/classes, schools can work with your schedule... etc, the only thing with getting a career is to stay motivated. If you do not wnat to terminate your baby, then dont. It is your baby, your body. Nobody can make you do anything. You are almost 18, this is usually supposed to be the time of your life, but if you have that baby, your life will also change drastically. Are you ready for that? Are you ready for sleepless nights? Constant worrying about your child from here on out, are you ready to be able to take your kid the doctor, to school, to day care etc, are you ready to spend all your time and money on this baby? There is also adoption. So just consider all your options, keep the baby, abortion, or adoption. (do not listen to people telling you not to get an abortion if you CHOOSE to get one, it is your body and your CHOICE do not let anyone put you down for whatever you choose.) If you do decide to have your baby, you are an adult now. Take care of yourself. I wish I could have given you better advice, but this is all I can really tell you. Good luck

Answer 15

Well you are at least smart enough to ask for advice. I am 24 years old now and i have three kids of my own i was 18 when i got pregnant. It is hard to do what you need to do but there is another life depending on you to do it. Tell all the potential fathers that they are just that potential fathers. And now that you are pregnant the parents can not decide for you. i would advice against terminating the pregnancy. If you dicide you can not take care of it give it up for adoption. umm but have the baby have DNA test ran on all the potential father and then sit down with them and dicide what you are going to do from that moment cause at that point you are a family together and you sould make the decisions concerning the child together. best of luck to you .

Answer 16

you need to firstly see your doctor and get your prgnancy confirmed then they will arrange a scan for you and start your ante-natel care. If you are thinking about abortion then they can discuss this with your or put you intouch with a counsellor. You need to tell all the possible fathers about the baby, DO NOT keep it from them or pretend to one of them that their the dad as this is very damaging for you, him and the baby. If you continue with the pregnancy then you will need a dna test to be done once the baby is born, then and only then will you be able to put the fathers name on the birth certificate and ask him for financial support. Its great that you work and I guess that you plan to continue with this until you would need to go on materntiy leave but have you thought about what you will do when baby is born? Its not fair for you to give up work altogether once you have had baby as its not up to other working people or your parents to support you and the baby. You need to carefully consider your living situation, you cant possible bring up a baby in a flat with someone who may or may not be the father, this is not a stable environment for any child. It woill also be advisable for you to get checked for any sexuallly transmitted infections as you have clearly been having un-safe sex with a number of partners and any std could affect your baby and your reproductive health. Make sure that you use contraception and respect yourself, everyone makes mistakes and hopefully they learn from them but sleeping with any more than 1 guy at a time isnt the way to live your life. be smarter than that. good luck

Answer 17

hi do whats right for you !you can have a life,carrer and all that whenyou have had the baby your parents will come round and love the child thats if you decide you gonna keep it,you got 2 men willing to bring the baby up but its you who must decide get a paternity test done if not for yourself but for the men in your life and the baby as this will mean you know who the father is for sure then no tricky answers when the child is born.dont get me wrong bringing up a baby and a career can be hard as babys are demanding especially in the first few months

good luck in whatever you decide but the decision is yours to make

Answer 18

Do a DNA test on the guy you're living with, and tell him about the other possibles. Don't bother telling the others unless you find out the unborn child isn't his- then you'll have to do DNA tests on the other two guys to see whose it is.



Ask yourself- do YOU want this baby? Regardless of your parents, do you think you could bring him/her up and love him/her? If so, tell your parents this and tell them you've thought it through and it's your decision.



A wonderful miracle is growing inside you- a new life. This baby could grow into the next Einstein. Don't kill him/her.



You can still go to uni and/or have a career, most unis and work places have creches attached. There's lots of support out there for young parents e.g in children's centres/ sure start. Just do a google search for groups near you.

Answer 19

Yes, you can still do stuff with your life. I would make sure to let the one you are living with know that he might not be the father. Because you want to give him the chance to come to terms with the situation. Then I would tell the other two that their possibility that they could be the father of the baby. As soon as the baby is born I would take a DNA test to make sure you know who the father is. You can choose to have the test while pregnant. You want to be open and honest. Because alot of times the lies hurt worse than the truth. GOOD LUCK!!

Answer 20

First, you should pray about the situation because abortion is not the answer. You should talk to the potential fathers about this and let them know. You should also think about adoption. There are a lot of couples who would love to adopt a child. But you have to sit and think long and hard about what you want out of life for yourself and your child. If you are not ready to be a parent or cannot give your child the life it deserves, then you should seriously look into adoption.



If you need to talk some more, feel free to email me at [e-mail].



God Bless you and take care of you and the baby

Answer 21

I got pregant at 16 I dont believe in termination I still have a life and a career it is just a little harder. I had a possible of 2 men being the father I told both of them right away. my boyfriend took a little hard but i told him we werent together I told him it was a mistake and i was sorry. it ended up being his kid so that worked out then. my parents we so mad but got over. i would not change the decisions i made. Get the truth out i will make things easier to live with and mabye handle

Answer 22

hi im not judgemantal at all about ur situation, as i myself got into your situation when i was 20yrs old



i bottled up my preganany rite up until i was about 7months as i didnt have much as a bump



at the time i was really depressed and felt alone due to other family problems in my home

to much was going on so i couldnt confide in anyone



its not healthy to hold it in due to the development of your unborn child, research shows that depression and stress can effect fetal development, so its best to have support from loved ones.



i honesty admit i had plans for my future i wasnt ready to have my child, i hated what i had done, and was so low



when i told the first person it was such a relief, my daughters father wanted me to have an abortion but i couldnt do it, i wanted it but didnt if you understand



its such a life style change one day you have a child, and need to take them everywere so its a huge shock to your body, thats why you need support



it can and does prevent you from doing things to an extent, but i must tell you i now have three futher qualifications, and am currently doing a nursing degree, i honestly wasnt ready to be a mum, but i love her and think the world of her, shes my child to love and protect and its my maternal duty to provide and give her the best start in life

there is many negitive views to look at as well as the positve ones, and nobody should be judgemental of your situation



your parents want to abort your child its your desicion in the end, your choice, forget the boys you think for a moment and think of your future hopefully your parents should be supportive no matter your decison



ive been a student in the family planning clinics the staff are so supportive of your choice they dont judge because thats the profession the decided to secify in



good luck think of your self and your future its your life to be honest i have had sets back but im so happy i love her and wouldnt change her for the world, probably the most haredst thing as a parent is childcare costs and the lack of freedom, however i couldnt picture life without my daughter she is my life and beautiful daughter



good luck think it all through your a good person no matter your decision

Answer 23

I was 17 when i fell pregnant and my boyfriend at the time was abusive, i got rid of him. But i kept the baby and stayed with my mum and dad. I was jealous when all my mates was going out and i had to stay with the baby, It was hard but you just get on with things, Its the best thing in the world giving birth, I'm 22 now with another son and my life couldn't be happier. Good luck and you do what you think is best for you.

Answer 24

You have to make a descision that you know you can live with. I have two kids....had one at 17 and 1 at 19...dont regret them for one minute. Im 28 now and pregnant again......if you choose to terminate it may torture you forever but I fully appreciate the circumstances that you are dealing with. With regards to career etc I had a career..on hold at the moment but with support and determination it is wholly possible.I honestly wouldnt know what to tell you about the fathers involved...it must be hard knowing there is a possibility of three. I wish you lots of luck x x

Answer 25

tell the possible fathers that you are pregnant and it could possibly be his, you cant have a dna test untill the baby is born, The decision is entirely up to you, if you want to keep the baby then your parents will accept it in time, they will be angry for a while but they will gradually calm down cos u still are quite young to have a child in their minds. Goodluck in what you choose to do hope it goes well

Answer 26

i got pregnat at 15 had my son while i was still at school at 16 i didnt believe in abortion so that was not an option yes i was scared but if you want it go for it dont let any one tell you what to do, u still have a life and do the things you want it just takes longer the way i look at it by the time my kids are grown up i will still be young enough to enjoy my life but with my kids in it good luck to you xxxx

Answer 27

my daughter has just gave birth and she is only 14 she is going to a unit for her schooling then on to Brit school for her singing just because you have a baby it don't mean you have to give up your dreams there's loads of girls who manage with babies and careers,you might have to put the career on hold while you have the baby but then you can carry on when the baby is here, what you have to start with thinking 1st is weather you want the baby put all these issues to one side when you made your mind up if you want baby all the issues you talk about will fit into place around the baby good luck hope you make the right decision for you. hope i have help you abit xx

Answer 28

well it depends on the relationship you've had with all 3 boys did you sleep with them all in the same week.



if not i hope you got the dates of when you did cause when you go for a 1st scan you can ask when do you think i conceived. and they should give you a estimated date.



dont say nothing until you have your 1st scan. keep the 3 boys sweet untill then



good luck x

Answer 29

dont terminate thats murder. u got ur self into this situation dont be a coward and take the easy option. as for the fathers they have a right to know. u need to take things easy now ur pregnant and not have so many men on the go. im 17 with a 4 month old and her father has taken me to hell and back and begged me 2 abort her. but im still here bringin her up alone and its great,. if i can do it u can too keep ur head up

Answer 30

hey, wow go for the dad who will support you more i suppose, Im 17 an 19 weeks pregnant an yes you can still have a career i have friends who have childern at our age and they are doin really well for themselves. . . .An if ur parents what u 2 have a termination dont jus do it cuz they want u 2, If u want the baby keep the baby they will come around. . . xxx

Answer 31

this same thing happened with my cousin and she never told the father. so i think it might be a good idea to tell all the possibilities. and first, be sure that you're ready to take care of a child. my cousin just had her baby on Jan. 18th and my cousin is 18. and she isnt really doing a good job with the parenting. so just make sure your ready for the responsibility. good luck with your choices though :]

Answer 32

i'm 18 years previous i have been given pregnant with my first son at the same time as i replaced into nevertheless in extreme college 17 years previous, my relations replaced into no longer very pleased about my sons dad did not opt for to be there for a lengthy time period, now pay interest this replaced into actual ridiculous to positioned this on the following, what might want to you ever imagine at the same time as u get 20/25 and characteristic extra youngsters and also you cant deceive them at the same time as they get a particular age and also you would possibly want to tell them they could have had a huge brother or sister it truly is pathetic, i replaced into scared to lack of existence!!! NOW i'm pregnant with our 2d infant and may want to by no potential imagine my existence with out both of my youngsters, you want to strengthen up once you've sex it truly is YOUR responsibility on your moves guard your infant!!!!!! even if you cant supply the newborn to someone who might want to it wasn't the newborn's opt for to be the following you further them the following so allow someone who will love them have them!!!!!that is the least your infant advantages!!!!

Answer 33

Time to stop thinking abuot me, me , me and more about everyone else.

You need help to sort your life out and learn some decent life skills. Itis unlikely the 3 possible fathers are going to sit down and sensibly discuss this. May be your parents are right, a termination would save you from grief, upset and upsetting these 3 boys lives. Ask yourself what sort of childhood you can offer this child - and remember it needs much more than your sympathy, it needs a fathers love too. If this is unlikely, and it does seem that way then a termination might be right. Then you could concentrate on your own careers, goals and motives, and self - respect!

Answer 34

You tell anyone who has a chance at being the father, you do DNA test after to prove paternity.



You need to be honest. If you have the right tools in your life you can still do anything.



Good luck.



Email if you need to chat.



♡Ash

Answer 35

1. You should not have claimed that corner.

2. H-O-L-Y $H*T. Have you ever heard of the phrase "keep your legs closed"?

3. Your screwed there aren't you (in more ways than one)

4. I really don't care

5. I would not expect any of your "clients" to be supportive.

6. You better hope he does.

7. Nope, you should of thought about that before opening your "massage" parlour.

8. Good for them.

Answer 36

im 18 and have just had my baby girl! its the best thing that has ever happened to me. i had career plans aswell but im puttin them on hold for a few years now as im young enough to continue them soon. becoming a mother is such a wonderful experiance and wouldnt change anything. good luck love!

Answer 37

tell all the possibilities and see if you can get a DNA test to find out who is the father. you can still do whatever you have planned to do in the future. it might have to be a little posponed though.



good luck with everything!

Answer 38

Im 18 and recently found out I am 8 weeks pregnant; The father of my baby knows, but he's abusive so we're not together. My current boyfriend(off and on for 4 years) was there when I found out I was pregnant and he supports my decision to keep my lil one. I think you should keep your baby, its your baby and it chose you to be its mommy. Good luck with everything! You'll love being pregnant!

Answer 39

i think you should tell the prospective dads, you need to be honest about the situation as it will all come out sooner or later, as far as the baby goes it is your decision and only you can decide what is right for you, good luck in whatever you decide

Answer 40

I would terminate ASAP but that's just my opinion. If you feel like you cannot do that, then adoption is an option. Parenting requires alot of responsibility and if you keep it, your youth is gone. Regardless of that, your promiscuity tells me that you should not be a parent at this time.

Answer 41

it'll certainly make you grow up if you decide to go ahead - it's not easy. You also have to think ahead - not just you with a baby, but you in years ahead - it's a lifetime commitment

Answer 42

ok..can i just say WHOOPS and u daft cow? lol. sorry, must be getting loads of that. anyway. ignore your parents for the time being.

1: congrats!!! yes u may be young, but it will make u wise behond ur yrs (in a gd way) and think abt it, u will be the best looking mum at parents evenings cuz u'll still be young!! (im 20, only 3 yrs older than u, and thats in my mind wen i fink im too young 4 a baby)

2&3, yes, tell ALL three of them. may be hard...ok, will be, BUT u kinda have to. else how u guno get a DNA test done?

4 - legally u can work right up until u drop, but the government say the earliest u can take maternity leave is at 29 weeks (aka 11 weeks from ur due date) go on job centreplus web side 2 c any and all benefits u r intitled to. esp if u will b 18 by the time the baby's born. u'll get support from ur midwife, friends (once they calm dwn, u'll soon c who ur true friends r), family (also once they've calmed dwn), doc's, and if need be, councilers. or me!! lol. if u wana tlk 2 sum random person hu dnt kno u, ain;t guno tell u " get rid of the blasted thing" then email me! i kno its hard, but come on! u've done the scarey bit of tellin ur 'rents!! congrats on dat btw.

5...men r twats. lets face it. i thought my man were guno b great...then 2 weeks ago we split n last week he moved out. nice huh? n im 7 months gone and HUGE!! feel very fat...whale in my stomach..not baby. lol. anywayz, twats. yes. all of them r 2 a degree. and k...u live wiv one of the 3...n he's a ****. u'll prob find dat if he did turn out 2 b the dad taht he'd very quickly change his tune.

my best m8's kinda in ur situation. she n her ex (weirdly enuf my ex's best m8) had a little fling thing, just sex, no strings..and she fell pregnant. whoops. she's over the moon, then paniced abt telling him cuz he'd bcme a completle n utter **** (puttin it politly) anywayz, he kno kno's shes havin his baby n they r so close now! like old times nearly. he's taking time off 2 midwife apps, n scans, n gettin so into the whole baby thing evn tho he kno's theres a chance its not his baby. mayb ur's will b like that? mayb not tho.

7. yea u can still do the career n stuff. a friend of mine got pregnant when she was at college studying accountancy. she dropped out, feeling ppl were thinking she was a slapper. had Mia (baby...lil cow now, but cute at the time), then she went bk 2 college, got her qegree or wot eva it is she has and if now a fully trained accountant! just abt 2 buy her council flat, on abt £30k a yr...and me, im RUBBISH at school, cnt think when im told 2, so i dropped out, now pregnant, and the day b4 i found out, i went self employed. ok..bad idea...but my dear god am i earning LOADS! if u can get the right ppl at colleges, or Connexions to help advise u, then ur ok. i really suggest u go connexions. they really helped me. n my friend. n dnt worry. baby won't mean u cnt go out clubbing n stuff!! just..not every night. what do u think grandparents r 4?! lol. one set of 'em is bound 2 b happy abt it. or other family or friends?

tlkin of friends. go on netmums and then 'meet a mum' u can meet ppl in ur local area who are pregnant, or who have a young child. it just kinda feels gd knowing u've got a friend who's going/been thru what u've been thru.helped me. weirdly enuf met me nxt door neighbour on there!! lol. dnt kno she had a baby.

8...well...my mum did 2...after saying i CLEARLY only got pregnant 2 piss her off (yes mother...of course..idiot), then she actually booked a abortion appointment 4 me, n taxi n everything. and now she's sayin it could be any1 of 20+ blokes baby...nice huh? just ignore them if its not what u want.



i always knew i wanted 2 b a young mum. my mum had me when she was 40, and the amount of times ppl teased me saying 'oh look pene, ur grannys picking u up' etc it really hurt. plus mum culdn't do half the things other mums culd do, like run around like a headless chicken after the kids playin games. but i can. i can give my Lilly (babes name) all the love and attention and silly begger games she wants. i realise age has nothing 2 do with love n care. but i just think i'll be a better mum cuz i'll b a young mum.



BUT. as u say, u need the pro's and cons. i'm pretty sure u've got enuf cons off ppl here, sayin u were a plonka etc...which yea..k u were (so was i, happy 2 admit that...will now get healthy suppy of condoms!!), but at least ur looking in to keeping the baby in unselfish ways. 4 u n baby 2 have any quality of life ideally u need a career...n u've asked abt dat. i dnt think u culd understand how much i respect u for evn asking that. when i started reading i thought u were going 2 say "will i ever be the same size agn!?" (yes btw..just gotta work at it). but im impressed and i respect u 4 it





remember. u wana tlk, im here:

[e-mail]



me names pene btw.



bloody hell i babbled a bit there!!! sorry....hormones (not really, just me fav excuse lately!!)

Answer 43

You're not sure who the father is?



You really do have problems.



My advice is for you to give the kid up for adoption, finish high school, go on to college, get a job, start saving your money.



You're not quite ready at your tender age to make sacrifices for a child.

Answer 44

Get a time machine and close those legs to the guy that doesn't want to be a father.

Answer 45

Get some proffesional counselling

Answer 46

well easy, get a abortion done and be done with it, in this way you can still enjoy your youthness and grow up like others, think of getting a job later, its best to continue your education, it doesnt mean that if you are pregnant, you must have the child, so think wise and get the abortion done.

Answer 47

You live with one guy but you could be prege for 2 more. Listen to your parents. Use protection. Stay true to one guy or be single. Stop having unprotected sex you dont want to be an AIDS chick do you?

Answer 48

see the baby on my avatar ? that's my 17 yr old daughters baby .yes you can do it .my daughter still does what she has to do.there is a chance your baby will look like its daddy.maybe you wont need a test, you will do fine.

Answer 49

Consider giving the baby up for adoption.

It's such a blessing to be able to give a

child to a potential mother and father

who would otherwise be without.

Answer 50

KEEP IT KEEP IT KEEP IT, IT IZ UR FLESH AND BLOOD AND NOBODY CAN TAKE THAT AWAY FROM YOU. YOU WNT REGRET EVRYTHING HAPPENS 4 A REASON!!

Answer 51

firstly go to your docs

Answer 52

you are obviously not ready for the responsibility of a child. either terminate the pregency or look into adoption.

Answer 53

go ''maury'' to get urself some paternity tests.

Answer 54

good luck.

Answer 55

You screwed up... your a teenager, you are supposed to screw up like the work exp muppet at work as its all new. You are not a bad person.



Just one who didn't like being lonley.





Your parents should have put you on a depro injection.





Now you will have many relgious nuts talking about adoption...





Not so simple.





Or lying as talking about a bunch of cells as a baby... Its not, its a bunch of cells that is not self aware or anything.





Do you remember days in the womb? no ... nobody does.



No you wont be able to do stuff, career, life.







You see these people saying how good motherhood isa etc believe once a baby is born a mother should give up everything, her whole life and be alone no needs no nothing as all they care about is more babies. It does not matter to them if it wrecks the mothers life or the kid gets abused or even raped... Hey to them if raped at 10 and gets pregnant... more baby making potentail





read this and see all the links



These people may be able to help... look for phone numbers



www.childline.org.uk



www.4yp.co.uk



www.fpa.co.uk



www.brook.org.uk



http://www.mariestopes.org.uk/uk/travel-directions.htm







In order for you to do this properly you have to look at the big picture.





And here's a thought... if abortion is murder then why are so many anti abortionists the ones who support the death penalty and wars in Iraq? With Muslims being very anti abortion but strangely having no problem with teenagers being stoned to death, stow strangle hung, beheaded for making love outside marriage or being gay. Not to mention centuries of inquistions, sectarian relgious wars, witch burning etc.



Funny how the most anti abortion folk would probably be in the holy land which has always been at war.



Have supplied web links check them out.

Likewise they will describe it in a bloody context… er ANY OPERATION IS BLOODY.



Plus hows this for a thought



Think if all kids were adopted, with a demand for kids (ie these fictional parents crying out for the kid they can't have) why would there be orphanges ona kids homes where kids get abused till turfed out to be homeless on the streets, turning into addicts to escape from the pain and becomeing street prostitutes to pay for the drugs and food till they caught aids and stds?



Plus talk about a bunch of cells or biological construction site as a person… Its not… no personality, awareness, memories, likes, dislikes, nothing.



Don’t simply look at abortion in isolation but in context with religious values in general with the main religions...





Firstly most are dominant male figure based.



Male primary reproduction strategy is to have as many babies as possible regardless of well being for females or children.



Now in a religion... more babies = more potential followers, giving more potential money, siding with you in political and social thinking and opinion siding more with the religion.





Now look at say sex based moral code...





say gays and lesbians... Considered immoral but where’s the harm? Other then not having lots of babies and acting as natural birth control for society.





Look at attitudes on sex Ed... They want as little as possible or none at all or as late as possible. Knowing teenagers won’t be able to abstain and end up doing it and getting pregnant then getting married and under control in baby production units.





Look at religious attitudes to contraception... unless useless methods.



Look at attitudes to sex amongst single people as generally with contraception whilst in a marriage often forming families and making babies.



Look at attitudes to masturbation (i.e. wasted reproductive matter and fun no baby) likewise porn.





Notice how anti girls using sexuality not to make babies but controlling males I.e. pole dances making loads of money but not hurting others. No babies.





Notice how there are no commandments against rape or child abuse i.e. child rapist... the earlier started the more babies. And thinking girls are only useful for making babies and looking after them.





Notice how many priests get accused of child abuse or how in the 3rd world where parent cant look after the kids the church is still anti condom and anti contraception even in marriage so lots of child prostitutes starving and homeless on the streets.





Now have another look at anti morning after pill, gays, contraception, sex Ed, masturbation, sex toys, porn, no anti rape laws.



All about sex only no babies and then look at anti abortion groups in a new light.





And no it’s not a baby with personality, feelings, emotions, etc it’s a bunch of cells...



Look also at the churches idea of adoption and how it treats girls



'The Magdalene Sisters' should be in your video shop but the TV drama 'sinners' was more accurate if you can find it.

Over 30,000 were involved up till 1996...how old were you at that time?

How many of your friends, you or your sister could have ended up here.



http://www.thewildgeese.com/pages/magdal...



http://www.netreach.net/~steed/magdalen....



http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0380703/...



http://www.bbc.co.uk/northernireland/dra...

Original documentary available from



http://cgi.ebay.com/sex-in-a-cold-climat...





How it tries to force young child rape victims to give birth even though will probably kill and certainly be very traumatic and painful for girls as young as 9 ripping vaginas and how does a nine year old cope with a baby?



and as mentioned allowing aids to spread and kids on the street as long as baby production kept up



http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/programmes/pa...



http://www.bbc.co.uk/pressoffice/pressre...



http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/programmes/pa...



http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/programmes/pa...



And how the church supports child rape and sick perversions like women raped with dogs showing its true attitudes to women.



http://www.thisislondon.co.uk/news/artic...



http://observer.guardian.co.uk/internati...



http://observer.guardian.co.uk/internati...



Vatican support for mass murders who like raping women with dogs



http://www.guardian.co.uk/print/0,,38097...



http://www.remember-chile.org.uk/comment...



http://select.nytimes.com/gst/abstract.h...







Also many kids who are adopted or fostered or especially in kids homes and double that for church run ones... grow up abused in various ways including sexually and very abused emotionally as teenagers ending up junkies or street hookers, homeless on the streets...





but that don’t matter to the religious they just want their number count up...





And regardless of housing crisis, lack of jobs, lack of food, etc.



*******************





So new perspective huh?



With abortion allowing women to control their lives and in reality foetuses not being human.



But hidden agenda of the sexist religious.





Stay rational and have a proper think whats best not get emotionally blackmailed when vunerable into something you will regret. Such as having a kid you can't look after properly as kid would suffer too. And often would do more so if endinf up in foster homes, especailly relgious run ones or adotped by bad people.





Think if all kids were adopted, with a demand for kids why would there be orphanges ona kids homes where kids get abused till turfed out to be homeless on the streets, turning into addicts to escape from the pain and becomeing street prostitutes to pay for the drugs and food till they caught aids and stds?











******************





You parents are right and being sensible and rational.





All the anti abortion lot actually dont believe in any contraception at all. Likewise tend to be anti gay.



They dont beleive in womens rights or woemn in work just at a kitchem making babies.





But keep that quiet.





Seriously have tha abortion asap and live your life as then when the time is right you will make a far better mum to a happy baby that will grow to a happy successful kid.





Have it now that kids life will suck and probably die in teens on drugs or in a gang and your life will be over.